Whenever someone says relationship at 20, the first thing that pops in our head is the question, “Is it right to have a relationship when you are 20?” Well, the answer is Yes and No. It has both its pros and cons, mainly depending upon who you are in relationship with and why you are in.
20 is the age to experience life, learn and grow. This is the age to go out, spend time with people to learn about human behavior and different types of personalities and traits. I know at this age you feel alone, but the choice is yours either you can feel lonely or you can enjoy the solitude and the freedom. This is the age to go out and experiment. Meet new people and try new things. Spend time with people to learn about yourself.
However, 20 is also the age when your seek company and companionship of the opposite sex. If your hormones are playing their part and you are only looking to fulfil the desires of your body, be upfront and clear. Don’t lead the other person to believe you are looking for something else other than what you want. There are many other people who are also looking just to get laid, you’ll meet them eventually. Being straight avoids is lot of complications at the later stage. Remember, no matter how much dopamine your body is producing, it will all be over in a few months or year.
However, if you do find someone with whom things are moving ahead then, here are a few pointers to develop a healthy relationship:
- Be in a relationship because you like the person, not because you are afraid of being alone.
- Find a person with whom you share your values and belief, this would be the foundation of your relationship.
- Go out on many dates, have fun, create memories. This would help strengthen your bond.
- Respect and honor your partner.
- Talk openly with each other. It is a common mistake in relationships that we expect the other person to read our mind and know what we want. Well that is not possible. If you want something just ask, if you are feeling something just talk to them and share your feeling. Same way encourage the other person to share their thoughts and expectations with you. Communicating with ensure that you understand each other.
- Listen to the other person, without judging them. Listening with an open mind would help you understand and learn about the other person. This might change your belief about them. One important thing about listening, sometimes when someone is telling you their problem, they may not be looking for a solution but just sharing. People usually don’t expect their problem fixed, they just want to be listened to.
- There should be balance of give and take in a relationship. If you like the other person a lot, it is only natural that you would give a lot of your time, attention, gifts etc. Please be mindful that the other person is also reciprocating in equal amount. If you are taking too much or giving too much it disturbs the equilibrium and later on this would become the reason for disenchantment and disagreements.
In the end, relationships do change and sometimes do end, but that’s not the end of the world or your life. These relationships leave us with wisdom and sometimes with gratitude of learning. Even at 20, it is more about the people than the age. You are young right now and have a long life ahead. You will have more relationships, more experiences, and more learning, more fun and more beautiful people who will add color to your life. Enjoy it!!!
Remember the Golden Rule: Don’t go out looking for love, but when it comes be ready to accept it!