Coming out of the closet and revealing your non-heterosexuality to others can have variety of reactions from great to horrible. Keeping that in mind it’s also important to be authentic to yourself. It is very hard to love yourself fully when you hide. And it’s very hard to love others when you don’t love yourself. Therefore, the closet is lonely.
If we want better relationships we must keep learning how to be more authentic self.
There’s a reason why they call the marches and celebrations “Pride.” It is the opposite of shame. Shame takes away your authenticity and your continue to spend lot of time and energy to be someone else, just to “fit in”.
Coming out does take bravery and without bravery you would be struggling and marrying people we weren’t attracted to.
When is the right time to come out
It’s entirely up to you when you come out. If you don’t feel ready then don’t pressure yourself to do it. You may feel under pressure to tell those close to you that you are lesbian, gay or bisexual before you are ready. Don’t. Coming out is about you and no one else. If you start to think about pleasing others you will lose sight of what is really important and thats your happiness.
Lets look at few tips, which may help you to take informed decision on coming out.
Take small step and tell one person: A close friend or relative that you trust is a good start, one who you feel is likely to support you. Start with, that you have something important to share with them, and that you have been thinking it over for a long time. Explain that you have realized you are different from others, but until recently. By saying this, they will understand that you didn’t keep it from them; you were simply trying to figure it out before saying anything to anyone.
Method of coming out: Advisable to share during a serious face-to-face conversation, or slip it in casually to show that you have accepted it and are comfortable with the idea. If you want to make it a determined conversation, take a deep breath and say it. you can practice it as well if you wish. Text message & emails are not very good idea.
Be Ready: Do not attempt coming out to them if you think that it will jeopardize your economic, educational, or housing security. It’s also a good idea to wait until you have resources and the emotional support of a friend or relative who supports your LGBT identity.
Be patient, It took you years to get comfortable with being gay and so give time to your friends & family. They may need support as they go through this. Be compassionate but do not accept homophobic verbal abuse.
Look at bright side: It is very easy to let the anxieties and fears around coming out completely take over the experience. But remember, coming out is one of the most amazing things you will ever do. You will finally be able to be authentic self and it will change your life. Those butterflies you feel in your stomach, see them as excitement rather than nerves
Start living: Coming out experience is different for everyone and at times it may not go as well as you’d like. Just remember that you are doing the right thing, you are allowing yourself to be authentic and you can start living your life.
Remember to create that safety net around you though, just in case things don’t go exactly to plan.